So here I am, doing a reading for myself.
My question is:
I am deciding to let go of the language teaching (because as much as I love doing it, it does take up a lot of mental and emotional energy, and it distracts me from what I want to work on more: my ultimate project and its initial manifestations and the job I am working towards qualification for. How will that go?
A word of advice if you’re a budding tarot reader: never read the cards for yourself, and try not to read them for your children or very close loved ones. Fear, preconceptions and doubts enter the readings and very often they will come out confused: when a reading is confused, it means someone is resisting being read.
Nevertheless, when I am feeling very focused and clear, I sometimes give in to the temptation, as I don’t know many tarot readers, unfortunately, who can read them for me!
So here it is:
Here is a photo of the spread (the way in which the cards are laid out), called a Celtic Cross.
Or a better, but not nicer view:
Celtic Cross begins with the present situation, which in my case is the 3 of Cups: Joy
That means that the first feeling I would have, the moment I made that decision (to focus on what I wish to do rather than what I feel I must do) is one of celebration, joy, revelling.
And indeed I am already feeling like that at the moment, I just need this final step: my partner in crime, the man who will design and manage the bar that will be the central focus of our project, is already full of ideas and enthusiasm, a lot of the feedback from the many diverse people who have heard my project is just brilliant, and I have been feeling very optimistic in a way I haven’t for some time.
Crossing that card, the “difficulty” for that card, is the 2 of coins: unity: it makes perfect sense, as of course there would be much money juggling, making ends meet, making sure I have enough to cover my most basic expenses, let alone the project itself! But that’s ok, because the 2 of coins is successful management, and even when sometimes a little problematic (because it is in a crossing position, an obstacle to my Joy), it is only a two: a low card, not too much trouble :). Plus, I think it speaks to the fact that my husband is at least a little receptive of this idea and will help, maybe not wholeheartedly, though, and that is why it has a slightly difficult connotation.
Below me, just below that present situation, lies the 5 of wands: Endeavour. I believe that is indicating that my identity (the wands) was always wrapped up and waiting to express itself through this project. The five is a card of conflict, albeit a small one. I think that card speaks of the frustration I’d been feeling and the more recent restlessness to get it done, for it to be heard and for people to recognise its potential.
In the past, we have the Queen of Coins: Nurture. That is beyond doubt me, and my project, the one I have been nurturing and which is far more practical, sensible and focused than most people believe.
Above me, which is already beginning and will manifest soon, is the Two of Swords: Peace. This speaks to the lack of communication regarding this project with many people, but it is not too troubling, and I can just accept it and be grateful for the peace and quiet it brings. It may also be best not to discuss things too much with those who aren’t really interested.
In the future, it gets, all of a sudden, a LOT juicier. We have the Devil, no less. It is quite a sudden and strong departure from the tiptoeing cards that came before. Then again, I have tiptoeing around this project since I was twelve. The Devil is telling me to let go of inhibitions and be myself, express my instincts. It is time for what is wild and passionate to finally come out and be real.
Within me, lies the Justice card and that is how I will feel in this, and my role in it, which is what I want to so this is good: I am the fair minded person, the one who can keep a balance and my opinion matters. Empathy, compassion and a sense of fairness. Also the feeling of Karma, and precision in analysing situations, a characteristic of mine that will be used in this project. Also choosing the right person for the task!
Without me (meaning, outside of me) is the Princess of coins: still material, aware of earthly needs and rational, and yet more risky, more daring, more experimental in my expressions and my practical decisions.
In my Hopes and Fears I have the Priestess, because, on the one hand I am hoping my spiritual path and my self-contemplation and wisdom are over and it is time to move on and DO things, on the other I hope never to lose my spiritual way.
In the outcome, we have none other than Death itself. A card often scary but it simply signifies huge practical change, changes of circumstances and realities which are perfectly understandable, though not all expected and easily and immediately dealt with, which is the hard part. The past no longer serves me and it is time to look to the future, whether I like it or not. Letting go of elements that no longer serves us well, can be hard at times, but MUST be done.
In the general message we have the Emperor. The Emperor to be honest is what I need to make this project secure and practical and effective, NOT the High Priestess as I have too often been. It is the natural evolution and consolidation of the Queen of Coins. I must draw on the inner resources I do have to complete the task, no more wishy washy or distractions. I will finally accept and take on the role of a leader.
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